is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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