He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
