I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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