Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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