Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
