There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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