dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
