i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
