I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
