its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
