What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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