if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
