so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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