the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
