i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
