His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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