I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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