I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
