Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
