he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
