he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you had me at cake vodka
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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