i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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