She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The feeling are messing with the penis
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
