Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
When are your genitals available?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize