the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
