I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just google imaged poop.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
is it fun? or sober?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
