Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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