I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my sisters under your porch take her home
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
