Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I FOUND THE LEGS
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
