imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
