my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
