You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
