I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
