Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
