Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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