I'll bet she douches with gravy.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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