sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
