Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
