Whod you bang
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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