What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
