just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
