I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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