Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
