when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
