it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
