Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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