That's intense
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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