Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
