They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
