Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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