That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
